telephoning the taxman

i had to ring the tax office in South Wales today (a distant part of the empire)

"thank you for your call, we are very busy today, please call later", and call is then disconnected.

no option to queue, or redial. They also have special gizmo on the line to prevent you leaving it on redial to get through

what a crepe way to treat your customers!!!

blackpool, parking regulations

what happened here?
ans. on a postcard....

Your payment has been processed successfully.

Your reference for this transaction is 29911. Please make a note if this number.

An email receipt has been sent to terrdsatblackpool@elond.com.

Note gramma opshonull "a note if this number"

some creep got paid £giga for their website as well.

vat online

email received today!! ->speechless........

Dear Sir/Madam
Thank you for your email.

Please note the VAT online service cannot be contact via e-mail. Please
use another method to contact them.
For security reasons specific personal data may have been removed from
this email.

Regards

Online Services (NON)Helpdesk

inland revenue, HMRC, HMIT

letter sent this week after a FRUSTRATING TIME....

i am an accountant, and we moved offices. hmrc are the only people left after 9 months still bombarding my old address with mail, despite numerous letters to various tax offices. they are completely useless, and user-hostile. a bunch of ....
i quote"
I refer to my telephone conversation on Friday where you explained that the (secret) system when you move offices is to write to you to get the registered office file updated for our clients. As I stated you are now the only authority inundating our old address with mail misaddressed. It is regrettable that all your colleagues have in 9 months ignored all our incorrect letters, and never once called us and explained the correct procedure to get this simple update done.
We moved in July 2006 from 5 Ardmore road, south Ockendon, rm15 5th to the address below.
Please update all the registered offices on the list attached as requested, this is missing some information of course, but I won’t find out until you ignore this letter and then I call you in two weeks to time find out why nothing has happened, and then I fax it over and then someone says….zzzzzzzzz. After 6 telephone calls to different offices, and a wasted afternoon I am not bitter of course…..Your departments clear lack of interest in the Agent relationship is very disappointing.
"

banking tales ........

a recent experience.......with the nationwide building society, who are actually quite good!!

i appreciate the less casual reply, but it does not answer why it is acceptable for your systems to produce this one-sided effect. how can it be right for one side of an internal transfer to show immediately and the other be delayed - i was placed in an embarrassing position due to inability to produce evidence of worth for a property transaction.

If you would like to imagine the scenario in front of the Nationwide chairman on his yacht.....
"here you are sir, our Internet banking software. it's all fabulous, and a particular feature i would like you to see is our one-sided transaction display system. Please use this demonstration system to see its advantages.
Here is my development invoice for £giga for immediate settlement"

----------------
--------------------- Original Message ---------------------
Subject: Re: Complaint Received: 13 April 2007
Dear Mr Swallow,

Thank you for your message.

Please accept my apology for my colleagues response which does not fully address your query. I have provided more detail below.

Whilst transfers between our banking and cash savings accounts are processed in real time, it is true that only mini statements and the balances shown on the My Accounts page update immediately. Accounts which offer only a Full Statement, such as Passbook, Bond or e-Savings do not update their statement immediately. I can assure you that interest is backdated accordingly.

Under our complaints procedure I need to advise you of the following. I've also enclosed a link to our leaflet "a complaint - how can we put it right", this will show you what course of action you can take if you're not happy with my response.

http://www.nationwide.co.uk/contact_us/making_a_complaint/making_a_complaint.htm

What do I do if I'm still unhappy?

The Nationwide Group uses the Financial Services Authority rules when dealing with customers' concerns. Under their guidelines, you may consider the following course of action if you're not satisfied with my response.

1. Our Member Service Department can review your concerns. I will be glad to refer it for you. If you decide to go ahead with this option, please contact me.

2. If you are still not satisfied, you may then approach the Financial Ombudsman Service for an impartial, independent assessment of the situation.

If you don't come back to us within the next 56 days, I will close our file.

Regards,

Mark Newman
Senior Customer Advisor
Internet Services

http://www.nationwide.co.uk
Nationwide. Proud to be different.

If you reply to this message, please include the Tracking Number below in the body of the mail. This will enable us to process your message more efficiently.

TRACKING NUMBER: A00002117759-00008426834

-----Original Message-----


From: 1285117710@bbm.tux
Sent: 12 Apr 07 13:21:11
To: customer.services@nationwide.co.uk
Cc:
Subject: Complaint

and even today i have done transfers which show on one account - my flex - and don't show on my e-account because........? -- no one tested it properly b4 going live.

--------------------- Original Message ---------------------
Subject: Re: Complaint Received: 10 April 2007
Dear Mr Swallow,

Thank you for your message.

The reason why the delay shows is because is was the Easter Bank Holiday, however the transfer is effective dated to the date you requested the transfer of funds.

Regards,

Linda Cox
Senior Customer Advisor
Internet Services

http://www.nationwide.co.uk
Nationwide. Proud to be different.

If you reply to this message, please include the Tracking Number below in the body of the mail. This will enable us to process your message more efficiently.

TRACKING NUMBER: A00002117759-00008401080

-----Original Message-----


From: 1285117710@bbm.tux
Sent: 07 Apr 07 09:19:37
To: customer.services@nationwide.co.uk
Cc:
Subject: Complaint

i transferred funds between my flex and e account.
12 hours later and the transfer shows as leaving my flex but not arriving in my e account because...? - your software is defective

go to my pc

i hate firms who sell you things and then don't support them.....

they HIDE any means to contact them on their website,
and have things like "support" and "feedback" unindexed on their website.....speaks volumes.........zzz

docklands light railway

so how come when the strain ambles in to Stratford do we have to put up with uncomfortable surging - i think it slows and accelerates 4 times in its approach.
this means you have to hold tight just when you want to move near the doors - crazy.
An invention they use on the Central Line overcomes this problem completely - it's called 'having a driver'.
Also on the Victoria Line they use something called 'tried & tested software' instead of some old cobblers written by some spotty Germans about 10 years ago.

Also how come the trains sway uncomfortably in the horizontal at speed, whereas tube trains are rock solid - oh i know it's because they use something called 'tried & tested suspension' instead of some old cobblers designed by some garlicky Frenchman about 10 years ago.

jubilee line

so why do jubilee line trains stop in nearly north canning town, instead of stratford?
i.e. miles from end of platform. there are loads of mainline stations e.g. King X, Euston, or Tower Hill, where they get much closer to end of platform

Olympics 2012 Stratford Station

Olympics 2012

i was opposed to the bid because i thought we would never overcome our nearest friends and greatest rivals, but we did !! miracle.

so why not make it all work, and give ourselves a legacy to appreciate out of all the massive spending?

e.g. 1 --> flatten stratford shopping centre this year, and make it a centre to be proud of still in 20 years time when it has all died down

e.g. 2--> flatten the station and build a single truly integrated station for everything - DLR, Central Line, Jubilee line, overground, and Channel tunnel link, instead of the patchy piecemeal solution imposed on us by unimaginative civil servants who don't seem to give a tinkers to55 about E London......? anyone would think the way they spend our money that it comes out of their personal pockets instead of being free. IF only i had the opportunity to spend other peoples money on my pet projects.....

if you use good binoculars you can see the new international station from the real station. Oh and the moving walkway to link the 2 stations has been binned to save a few mill.

have you seen the new DLR station is being built so it ends dangling above the booking hall of the Jubilee line, thereby giving really easy access to change lines to the jubilee line - the only 2 lines at stratford that don't need it as the only time u need a link is to sprint between the 2 lines when one is 5hagged, and you rush to use the alternative. i wish i was a clever designer coming up with sensible solutions instead a boring accountant with no ideas or imagination.

Olympics 2008 Beijing

Olympics 2008

it is soooo distressing that everyone is sucking up to the one of the world's most oppressive regimes - Tibet, tiananmen square, abuse of rural peasants rights, to name a few.

one day someone will stand for office who has integrity in UK and will call a spade at least a large trowel,

why do we have to deal with someone odious just because of trade - why does pursuit of profit exempt those involved from moral standards?

oh and did u see that only this week 30.4.07 the china-men have been gently told that maybe they are not honouring the press freedom commitment made when they were lying to get the Olympics? And will the international community say anything e.g. "the Olympics r moved to Greece", which is the only thing they would care about?

11.6.07 - 3 Chinese journalists have been sacked for taking an advertisement in their newspaper which reminded locals to remember those who died in vain in Tiananmen Square. All they did was take the advert, they did not even write it themselves! I quote from Ye Tymes Online...

"BEIJING Three editors have lost their jobs after failing to notice a one-line advertisement in the June 4 edition of their newspaper paying tribute to the mothers of the protesters who were killed.

Li Zhaojun, deputy editor-in-chief of the Chengdu Evening News, in southwestern Sichuan province, and two other staff members have been dismissed, unidentified sources told Reuters.

The young woman clerk who took the advertisement from a man who visited the office apparently let it through because she had never heard of the Tiananmen crackdown. The message said: “Saluting the strong-willed mothers of June 4 victims.”

China bans any public mention of the day in 1989 when troops killed several hundred pro-democracy protesters in Beijing."

Just out of interest -- how come the woman's defence was ignored, as this means the regime is acknowledging that knowledge of the atrocity is common currency in China even though they deny it ever happened, so she has been sacked for not knowing about something imaginary according the the government.
What a great place to live, i must go for a holiday and help prop up the regime

oh, and i bet not one athlete (with a realistic chance of a medal) from UK will refuse to go to Beijing on principle........

clocks

ok so it's 07.50 here in sunny london
but the blogger amstrad swears it's 06.50 because.........
yes i have checked all my settings etc..........

Google toolbar

when you install the fantabulous Google toolbar.......

why does the country select option, which is a drop down, only list the URL, assuming we all know what we are looking for, instead of the country. AND the drop-down is in country order!!! so whatever Google Germany is, is nearer the top than u.k., even though it is only the URL showing e.g. google.de under G whereas google.co.uk under U....

spell checker

so tell me o wise and 1derful googleman......
i use your fantabulous toolbar, and especially its spell checker.
when someone checked it off, and paid for the speller, why didn't they try using it 1st?

try typing something complicated like "ot", my really common stupidity, and see what it comes up with.... also try "htye".

i know they would say "it's free" , but we all know they provide it for hard commercial reasons

websites that don't work

hates
websites that don't work due to pathetic programming quality.
it's obvious to all except the geeks who set up websites, that you have to build in failure handling, so that users don't get p155ed 0ff with meaningless errors.....

Server Error in '/' Application.
Server was unable to process request. --> Cannot open database requested in login 'sagesoft'. Login fails. Login failed for user 'webuser'.
Description: An unhandled exception occurred during the execution of the current web request. Please review the stack trace for more information about the error and where it originated in the code.

Exception Details: System.Web.Services.Protocols.SoapException: Server was unable to process request. --> Cannot open database requested in login 'sagesoft'. Login fails. Login failed for user 'webuser'.

Source Error:

An unhandled exception was generated during the execution of the current web request. Information regarding the origin and location of the exception can be identified using the exception stack trace below.

Stack Trace:

[SoapException: Server was unable to process request. --> Cannot open database requested in login 'sagesoft'. Login fails.
Login failed for user 'webuser'.]
System.Web.Services.Protocols.SoapHttpClientProtocol.ReadResponse(SoapClientMessage message, WebResponse response, Stream responseStream, Boolean asyncCall) +1495
System.Web.Services.Protocols.SoapHttpClientProtocol.Invoke(String methodName, Object[] parameters) +218
Sage.IS.WebTeam.SalesLogixWS.SalesLogixWS.GetL500AccountBalance(String accountNumber) +48
TasSoftwareCoUk.Controls.AccountStatementControl.Page_Load(Object sender, EventArgs e) +460
System.Web.UI.Control.OnLoad(EventArgs e) +67
System.Web.UI.Control.LoadRecursive() +35
System.Web.UI.Control.LoadRecursive() +98
System.Web.UI.Control.LoadRecursive() +98
System.Web.UI.Control.LoadRecursive() +98
System.Web.UI.Control.LoadRecursive() +98
System.Web.UI.Page.ProcessRequestMain() +750


Version Information: Microsoft .NET Framework Version:1.1.4322.2300; ASP.NET Version:1.1.4322.2300

tomtom satellite navigation system

so y r tomtoms a stupid shape?
given that they are nicked ceaselessly, they need to be size of a paperback book, so you can take it out as you get out of your exec limo and put in your case.

Also it reckons it takes 4 hours to do 240 miles from London to Blackpool --> dream on sunshine. try c.6 last Tuesday.
i drove like a demon to margate on Tuesday and just made the appointment. if i had driven sensibly i would have been late even though tomtom said all was ok when i started

in my experience you need to add about 20% to their travel times for a real number.

blackpool

i spent 5 days there last week

the weather was great

Blackpool is a shitehole unless you are a peasant or going there for a debauched hen/stag night.....!
virtually 100% trad caffs wiht rubbish coffee/food

can't see how they will survive come 1.7.07 when fags get abolished.
even the iconic trams are run by the council 'traditionally' - in bunches of 3, secret fares, over-staffed, slow....

still it was interesting to see the last un-reconstructed British seaside resort

PS. massive business opportunity avaialbe --> open an Internet caff as they only have one very feeble offering at 50p for 10 mins with no printing as long as you buy a 1.99 coffee