Thursday 5 November 2009

autumn statment 2009

ideas he could try.....( " "= his possible statements!)
1. defer vat increase to 1/7/2010 - poison pill for next lot "to avoid dampening the recovery just as it is kicking off"
2. eliminate zero-rating of various products e.g. books, children’s clothes "to reduce fraud opportunities"
3. increase stamp duty on property to "avoid another housing boom"
4. freeze/reduce the annual CGT allowance "to reduce evasion opportunities given by sly lawyers/accountants shifting income into capital gains"
5. Start taxing house profits via CGT 2009/10. “I have never understood why ones main house is exempt from CGT. Personally I can never remember which one I told HMRC about, and I am sure I forget to pay sometimes when I should. To ease the pain you will only pay 10% of the tax on any gain this year, and this will increase each tax year until we reach full taxation in 10 years time. Gains will based on value on 1/4/2005, or best guess”
6. shove up petrol 1/7/2010- poison pill for next lot "to further pursue our emissions agenda
7. increase fags/booze immediately "there is no further capacity for white vans commuting across the channel, so increases in these taxes now flow through to me, and you will all be sooooo much healthier"
8. standardize corporation tax at 20% for smallco, and 25% for massivco, and 30% for megamassivco profits over £100m. pa.
9. increase level of 50% band to £250,000 2009/10 tax year+ "I have listened to the comments requesting I exempt those on modest incomes from this levy"
10. up the NiNo on upper earnings to 5% above £250k income "I don't think people will notice this tax increase as those on this level of income have bundles anyway"
11. restore 100% FYA cap allces for investment in machines with cogs that make things " I want to give a real stimulus to our manufacturing industry to investment in new equipment, and it can only be financed via cash or bank loans, no sly leasing schemes allowed. This will also enable us to boost apprenticeships in skills that oiks are vaguely interested in doing like making stuff, instead of grunting in call centres at calls from irate customers "
12. abolish the much-abused research & dev allowance " I have noticed we now spend more on R&D than the USA, so maybe there is some lying going on"
13. immediate big jump in Flying taxes - air passenger duty uk "I am sooo committed to the green agenda"
14. make airlines pay usual duties on their fuel " I just want to see them squirm, this change will be introduced gradually over the next 10 years. The phasing will allow the rest of the world to play catch-up once we have broken ranks, and they will do similar, we therefore will not lose re-fuelling business, and who cares as it's all imported anyway"
15. corporation tax relief on contributions to goodwinesque pension schemes will be abolished immediately "if the scheme benefits are not open to the serfs, or have artificial barriers that mean only big cheeses qualify then it's all over chums"
16. emergency review of all government spending levels looking for savings now, not in 5 years time - poison pill for next lot "we recognize that in these straightened times we also have to save money. Our emergency review will introduce significant reductions effective 1st July 2010 to materially impact current spending projections. For a start all government employees, including quangos, agencies, banks etc. will receive a maximum salary for any job of £150k.pa. PS. Special rules will be introduced to spike the cats at BBC, and their entertainers. It's a great privilege working for us with cushy employment terms, and we are going to milk this to seriously save money and set an example. We will auction high profile to jobs to lowest bidder who can do the job"
17. crack down on black economy by making it illegal to make large cash withdrawals out of banks - defn:>£1,000 per day per account. " I have decided to introduce a general presumption that all significant financial transactions in UK will be made by bank to bank transfers, and perhaps cheques/credit cards. Individual businesses will be able to apply for (chargeable) licences to exceed this limit e.g. currency bureaux. Exemptions will not be given to businesses merely wishing to avoid banking large amounts of cash".
18. New VAT registrations will carry an application fee of £150+VAT. "this will enable us to apply vaguely adequate resources to the processing of applications. These will now always be dealt with within 2 weeks of the application. Collateral benefit is reduction in unemployment somewhere far from London as we recruit loads more staff"
19. VAT fraud will be reduced by preventing VAT refunds in first 2 years of any registration. “most fraud occurs in newly-registered businesses ‘phoenixing’, ‘flitting’ ‘carouselling’ etc. so the fix is to stop making refunds. After all if you need a refund you are almost certainly going down the tubes anyway. Exemptions will be granted to legit repayment businesses using a licence system that will be strictly monitored and charged for”

Monday 2 November 2009

margate turner centre



call me picky.....

But how is the Turner Centre design an enhancement to Margate?

I am sure once inside looking out all will be great with fabulous art etc..
BUT what about the serfs who have to look at the most ugly erection in Margate since the slimy tower block at the other end of the bay – I suppose at least we will have one at each end.

Who designs this crepe? And who approves it? AND I guarantee both don’t live in Margate

Come on Al Quaida where are you when we need you?