Wednesday 16 October 2013

Laptops Direct



bought a laptop from them, it's fine - it works


but what's with oppressing punters with an 0871 telephone number ?

give us a REAL number e.g. 0203 so we can call from our mobiles without being raped.


customer-hostility lures supreme.......................



Tuesday 15 October 2013

Banks002 Barclays Bank



sent a bank mandate change to add a signatory off to Birmingham [Barclays Central Dustbin for burning customer communications] 24th August (2013)
received zilch back of curse....

rang them 10.10.13

MS hey guys how about responding?
[after massive wait]
BC we are within our service target, we will be in touch
MS do u think that is acceptable?
BC we are within our service target, we will be in touch
MS is that an acceptable level of service
BC i can't comment sir zzzzz.....



As ever banks cannot focus on CUSTOMER SERVICE, and how to fix it.



Thursday 10 October 2013

Banks001 - are useless


rang Barclay to close a small fccy account. 08.30 10.10.13

muppet who answered was too badly trained to ask exactly what i wanted, so he thought i wanted to close all my accounts, told him to listen and understand the qu. before rocking on. [overseas call centre]

  • did i want to know HOW to close an account?
  • no u muppet just ******* do it.
  • he said "would u like to transfer the balance before closing the account"
  • doh, no i thought I'd donate it to the Barclays Board yacht fund, terrd

  • then he triumphantly told me he had to speak to "international dept" to transfer my €64.25 to my current account
  • took over 5 mins for them to answer the call [overseas call centre]
  • she then repeated everything i had already told muppet 1
  • finally she said she would do the tfr
  • but that i then had to wait and call them back to close the account once it's balance was €0, so another 10 mins to waste tomorrow, grrr.
  • then she started droning about their account closing procedures again so i hung up

IF Barclays studied the call they would eeeeeasiuly identify how to slash the call duration from 12 min 36sec to less than 5 min. how many idiots could they sack then? ans= about half of them.

Monday 7 October 2013

Tescos flog massively out of date milk


i shouldn't tell the entire world about their shameful systems, but....................

When i took the two packs of long-life milk that were THREE months, yes THREE months out of date, to the till area, the serf scarcely reacted, just took them from me, and said she would sort it out.

At the very least she should have summoned a supervisor to apologise formally to me, and give me my shopping for free.

Instead of which i have now sent the evidence to Trading Standards.


why do big firms find it sooooooo hard to keep customers happy?
- they don't give a tinkers in their systems-design so of curse the serfs just follow procedures.

it is blindingly obvious that customers design things for FREE, so all u have to do as M Assiv plc, is capture any incidents/feedback/comments 100% CENTRALLY, then decide which ones to react to, and rest u ignore.

BUT failing to capture dirty incidents means they have no real idea what's going on at the £cache coalface.

Still it's their massive fine problem.

Best By 23.06.2013 !! - picked off shelf on 27.09.2013